March 24, 2021

It has been an interesting week. 

Having a birthday at the equinox has always brought some bonuses, most of them good, all of them interesting.  This year we have a big full moon at the end of the week for an extra kick.  But since the passing of so many of my family members in the last few years, I have had a lot of contemplation on the Afterworld that I would like to share.

I am calling it the Afterworld rather than the Afterlife, because I am very much of the belief that the “life” goes on, just in a different form –  in the “other room” so to speak.  I say that about my late husband Filip a lot.  He’s just “in the other room.”  I think I shall call it the After Room.

On the morning of the 22nd, I awoke to the most overwhelming scent of paperwhite narcissus.  If you are a flower fan, you know the beautiful lily-like spice of the paperwhite.  It is a herald of spring, but it was also the flower that my mother gave to me or planted for me on my birthday.  “Hi mom!  Thanks for the birthday wishes!”  My mother passed in 2017, but she makes herself known in such ways.  In fact, she is around more frequently lately than ever, and I am hugely comforted by just knowing she is in the After Room.  I am not surprised, because I know she watches over her great-granddaughters from her seat there, as does my father. 

For the remainder of the day, I “heard” from various members of my family.  My brother Kevin was always the first person I heard from on my birthday.  He called me every year first thing in the morning until his passing in 2019.  I miss him a lot, but he did something to let us know he was here, too.  My youngest son Shane was with me and we are both still laughing about it. 

Last night I had a very intense dream concerning a number of people from my past, when I was in my early twenties, who are now in the After Room.  We were in Australia (where I have many wonderful friends, although I have never been) and there was a kind of reunion.  We were all staying in this big house for a week, just hanging out and making coffee and talking.  One of my childhood besties, Della, was traveling with me (she passed in 2015) and another person who I once loved (in spite of the fact that he was, shall we say, highly problematic) was there, too.  It wasn’t until I was on my way to the airport to return to the States that I realized that both of them had passed years ago, and that there was no way I could have just been in a house with them. I sat on the tarmac and contemplated all of this as I watched the planes take off. Metaphors abound.

When I awoke, I considered all the elements of it. What mattered in the dream was that everyone in the dream was happy, safe, and free of worries. My takeaway is that they are all well in their Afterworlds, and I really needed to know that about them.  Della was an angel, so I have no doubt that she is all good wherever she is.  But the Problematic Guy was not.  He did some truly terrible things in his life, which led to an awful death. But in the dream he was untainted by the things that had tormented him in life, and the actions he had taken as a result.  He was free of all those demons, and able to start over in a new land.  Knowing that he is in an After Room where he is transformed is, for me, confirmation of something I have always believed: we are all going to a good place.

This could turn into an entire book of what I believe about the Afterworld, and perhaps it will become just that eventually.  My recent time in Egypt has me thinking about it a lot because no other culture in history has celebrated the journey to the Afterworld with as much ceremony as the Egyptians.  But I wanted to close this particular musing with something that Filip said to me in his last 72 hours here on earth. 

Filip told me he was happy to go in to the Afterworld, that his room was filled with golden light which was the portal he was moving through, and that he could feel the euphoria and ‘lightness of being’ in that place.  He was not only ready to leave this world, he was excited.  He kept telling me how wonderful it was ‘over there’.  There were moments, particularly in the last hours, where I caught glimpses of it – of the golden light, of the sense of movement between worlds.  I could not feel the euphoria, of course, because my own grief was too heavy and consuming – although since then he has done his best to show it to me over the years.  Filip also indicated the presence of Archangel Michael in the light to help him find his way to his new destination. That was something which would have great meaning for me in the coming years.  I have since heard several other people talk about the golden light and the sense of peace, if not euphoria, as they were preparing to transition, in almost identical terms.

Filip also told me this very important thing: He had to leave because there was so much work to be done to fix our broken world, that he would be of far greater help to me (and others) from the AfterRoom.  He assured me that he would always be there helping and that I would just have to find ways to work with him and understand that.  And I absolutely have.  I believe that many of the losses we have sustained in our lives these past years are loved ones who are working with us, just on the other side of the wall.

I hope that some will be comforted by these ideas and experiences.  I know that I have been.  Here’s to our loved ones in the next room. I appreciate all of their hard work.